Fun dinner last night for Sidney's BD.

The Next Frontier

It's awful. My marriage has been ruled invalid ...along with the marriages of 4,000 odd other men and women. At first I had a hard time sorting out my feelings because I was so ticked off. But I'll admit that I understand why the court ruled against Newsom. Still I'm very disappointed that they also saw fit to nullify the marriages before the constitionality of the current marriage law was decided.

That was just a backhanded slap to those of us who've been subjected to what amounts to legalized discrimination.

There is nothing wrong with me marrying someone I love. I've spent the last ten years building a life with her. We pay our bills and taxes. We care for our loved ones. We vote. We trudge to work everyday and make an honest living. We make sure not to tear the tags off of our pillows and we don't steal pens from the office...ok maybe we do, occasionally, but only the cheap stick pens with the fine tip points that nobody really wants to write with.

The point is is that there is no reason that good people like ourselves should be singled out for this type of prejudice.

One day we'll be beyond this foolishness. For now, the misguided majority need a whipping boy (or girl).

Update: Read this upbeat article from SFGate on the marriage debate.

Some of my best friends are Conservatives

Absolute right and absolute wrong...I think those only exist in heaven or
hell. Earth is the proving ground, the place of ambiguities,
cross-purposes, good intentions and vagaries.

I find out more and more about myself as I speak my mind. What I find very
strange is that in our small cadre of friends, individuals that C & I
socialize with regularly, over half are fairly conservative. Not being a
conservative myself, this means that I, at some point, disagree with
them, especially in todays political climate.

My prior strategy was to say nothing; to avoid conflict. But of late, I
stopped doing that...maybe because at my age, I now think that what I
believe in is the truth. Of course others have significantly divergent
opinions but recently I haven't felt their critique of my viewpoint a
personal attack. As I put my beliefs out there and get blasted back, I
notice the sinewy strength of their convictions, I see their faces contort
with fear and anger...their reaction to confusion and the unknown at it's
center is exactly like mine. We are together in that. And when they open
up and pour out their anxieties, concerns, and a host of very strong
emotions, just as I do,... what I generally see now is not easily
classified as 'right arguing against wrong'. Instead I feel enlightened
and privileged to see their point of view and I come away with a deep, deep
respect for who they are as humans.

"we are together, awash in self-same emotions
only the trigger wears a different face"

It's rather like what John Gardner touches upon in his seminal work On Becoming a Novelist. He comments that to be a great novelist (or a person who is fully connected to the life they are living) one must hold dear all one's characters, good, bad, or indifferent.

I cannot truly empathize, understand and build relationships with people if
I don't appreciate life in their shoes.